“Me with myself” in this context refers to the inner world of a person’s experiences, including the dialogues between the different parts of the Self and how these constitute and develop over time.
The relationship of the self to the self means the person’s capacity to be aware of their inner world, the dialogue between the different parts of the self, how they register their own experiences, how they accept themselves, how they feel. In the literature we also find at this point the relationship between Self as subject and Self as object discussed. Self as subject refers to that ‘I’ as my representation of myself, all that I know about myself through my own observations. Self as object refers to the fact that I perceive myself among others, an object among other objects. For example, an over-emphasis of the “I” polarity can lead to an over-focus on the subjective self, with a reduced ability to see the self as an object among others, and this can lead to a form of self-absorption that leads a person towards being unaware of their impact on others and leads them to ignore the needs of others.
An over-emphasis on the “Me” polarity can cause a person to feel that they have a reduced sense of self, a sense of drifting in a world of others, just another object in a world of objects, at the mercy of the environment, with no rights to their own needs. This can lead to depression and a sense of hopelessness.
In healthy functioning, a person will have the ability to contain both polarities, to retain a sense of Self-worth and self-intercession, and will also experience a sense of Self among others, of being a part of the world of others.
(Gilbert, M. & Orlans, V. (2013). Integrative psychotherapy: 100 key points and techniques. Bucharest: Liber Mundi)
Integrative psychotherapy underlines the idea of relationship: the interpersonal relationship and the individual’s contact with himself. Breaking contact within these relationships is both the response to and the cause of psychological pain. Disruption of internal contact takes many forms: denial, disengagement, depersonalisation and dissociation.
Denial is a cognitive disruption: repression of memories, inability to solve problems and lack of understanding of connections. Disengagement refers to the inability to tolerate feelings, especially painful ones. Desensitization is the loss of contact with one’s own bodily sensations. Depersonalization involves a psychic abandonment of the body and sense of self, while dissociation is the typical defense mechanism in which the conscious mind is divided into separate parts that may even come to function as independent personalities.
(Evans, K. & Gilbert, M. (2010) Introduction to integrative psychotherapy. An integrative relational model of psychotherapy. Bucharest: Liber Mundi.)
Having a healthy relationship with yourself is a very important step in reaching a state of lasting harmony and happiness, personal development and psychotherapy helps you to take rapid steps towards this goal.